You Got This
On the Pressure Society Puts on New Mothers
You got this.
That phrase gets tossed around a lot. Sometimes it feels empowering. Sometimes it feels like another thing you are supposed to live up to.
New mothers are handed a baby and, almost instantly, a long list of expectations. Bounce back quickly. Breastfeed without struggle. Keep the house clean. Be grateful. Be calm. Don’t complain. Don’t need too much help. But also somehow do it all.
It is no wonder so many parents end up doubting themselves.
We Are Taught to Question Ourselves
From the beginning, many of us are conditioned to believe we do not really know how to mother. We are told to follow the app, the chart, the expert, the algorithm. We are told that someone else always knows better.
Education matters. Evidence matters. Support matters.
But so does your intuition.
You are the one up at night. You are the one noticing patterns. You are the one feeling when something is off or when something just does not sit right.
You are not supposed to ignore that.
When Concerns Are Dismissed
One of the hardest parts for new mothers is speaking up and not feeling heard.
You bring up a feeding concern and are told it is normal.
You mention pain and are told it will pass.
You say something feels off and are told not to worry.
Sometimes reassurance is appropriate. But sometimes what you need most is explanation. Context. Time. Eye contact.
You deserve providers who listen carefully and respond respectfully.
Providers Work for You
This part is important.
Your provider works for you. You are hiring them for a service. That means you can ask questions. You can request clarification. You can interview them before deciding if they are the right fit for your family.
It is okay to ask:
How do you handle postpartum concerns?
What is your approach if I feel something is not right?
How do you involve parents in decision-making?
What does support look like after birth?
If you do not feel heard or respected, you are allowed to look for someone else. Finding a provider you vibe with is not dramatic. It is responsible.
You deserve a care team that treats you like a partner, not a problem to manage.
You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone
Another quiet pressure our culture pushes is independence.
We celebrate doing it all by yourself. We glorify exhaustion. We treat rest like a luxury.
But humans were never meant to parent alone.
A strong postpartum support system matters. That might look like:
Family who brings meals and folds laundry
Friends who hold the baby so you can shower
A partner who protects your rest
A postpartum doula who checks on you, answers questions, and helps you recover
Support does not mean you are failing. It means you understand that healing and parenting both require care.
You Are Not Failing
If you feel overwhelmed, that does not mean you are failing.
If you need help, that does not mean you are weak.
If you question yourself, that does not mean you are incapable.
Motherhood is learned in real time. It is messy, tender, sometimes chaotic, and sometimes deeply quiet and beautiful.
You are allowed to grow into it.
A Gentle Reminder
You were not born knowing every detail about motherhood.
But you were built with the ability to learn, to notice, to care, and to advocate.
You got this.
And you do not have to do it alone.
If you are local to Northern Michigan and want steady, judgment-free support during pregnancy or postpartum, I am here. Sometimes what makes the biggest difference is simply having someone in your corner who listens.
